A lap behind the field.
A little light in his loafers.
A looney tune.
A medical mystery.
A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost.
A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel.
A mind like wet tennis shoes... Makes squishy noises when running.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Churchill
A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
A notch off the timing mark.
A one-bit brain with a parity error.
A pacifist out of necessity in a battle of wits.
A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
A quart low.
A return with no gosub.
A room temperature IQ.
A semitone flat on the high notes.
A square with only three sides.
A steering wheel / few bolts short of a Yugo.
A teapot with a cracked lid.
A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A walking argument for birth control.
A wind-up clock without a key.
About half smart.
Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
Airhead / bubble-brain.
Aliens zapped him with stupidity ray -- twice.
All booster, no payload.
All crown, no filling.
All foam, no beer.
All hammer, no nail.
All hat and no cattle.
All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.
All icing, no cake.
All lime and salt, no tequila.
All missile, no warhead.
All of his bytes are odd.
All shot, no powder.
All the lights don't shine in her marquee.
All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty /
caulking / saran wrap / a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.
All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
All wax and no wick.
Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Always loses battles of wits because he's unarmed.
Always needs to have jokes explained.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)
An Apple //e on UUCP.
An early example of the Peter Principle.
An ego like a black hole.
An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years
with walnut sized brains.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
An inch short and a stroke early.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
Ano-fossal ambiguity. (Can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.)
Another engineering prototype that should not have been shipped.
Answers the door when the phone rings.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse. -- Gignac
